Today was not easy

Not everyday is easy. Today for example was definitely not an easy one. Even if I’m trying to be in the good mindset there are days when it is hard to stay in that good place. However, as I’ve learnt over the last one year, these moments are the most crucial one.

You can do all the mindfullness and journaling but if you let yourself get too affected by everyday struggles and negativities then your healing and growth will take much longer. In these moments, when you feel overwhelmed, unmotivated, unworthy, insecure, unhappy you have the best opportunity to practice changing your mindset. Remember that everytime you feel bad, it is just the perfect time to practice changing your mindset and creating the person that you wish to be.

Every time when you are practicing changing your mindset you are taking a huge step forward achieving your goal, which can be anything from calmness to confidence through joyful.

So here is what I’ve done today and here is what you’ll do the next time when you feel bad.

1. Acknowledge that you are in a bad mood/bad thinking pattern.
2. Remind yourself that you are in charge of changing your mood.
3. Think about what you exactly want to think about. What would your ideal self think about this problem or way of thinking?
4. Optional - Do something that makes you feel better. Something that gets you out of your head.

I had a really hard day at work where I felt like nothing was working and I’m just too incapable of managing anything. I came home and I decided that I’m not going to let it ruing my evening. So I took a moment to understand exactly what I was thinking. I was thinking about all the things that I still need to do, the things that are unclear and the ways in which I can fail. Then I started to reshape this thinking with highlighting OK, but what do I exactly want to happen? Which was, that everything goes smoothly, with little or no effort, that I’m doing a super successful training and that everything is going well. Because the thing is I cannot see the future so the possibility of both - the best and the worst outcome - is quite similar. So why should I waste my energy and my afternoon/evening on something that might just go perfectly?

Then as I was reaching to my phone to scroll on Tiktok which helps me get out of my head but at the same time makes me feel bad as I’m just wasting my time, I decided that I should still make the most out of my evening. Do something that I want my confident self to do and what will still make my day better. So I asked my boyfriend if he wants to go on a walk and luckily it was not raining so we went out for a 40 minutes long walk. Then I came back organised some stuff about our move and then practiced some Dutch as I’m learning this new language now.

I would not say that I’m in the best mood ever, but definitely feel so much lighter. I’m proud that I could still enjoy my evening and not let all the bad things take more energy away from me. I have the power and I choose to put my energy into things that help me grow.